Tender
Would you rather
Wake up in a city neither of you has ever seen, or in the very first place you ever spent the night together?
A new city
Our first place
Would You Rather, answered on three
Two options, a count of three, and you both call your answer at the same moment. What you pick matters less than what you find out while picking.
Spicy and Scorching are played in Dareling.
Add your first names
Card 1 of 12. Read it aloud, then pass the phone.
The rules, in thirty seconds
One phone, set down between you. Add your first names if you want the cards to call you by name, then choose a temperature: Tender for a game that works at the dinner table, Playful for later in the evening.
- Each card gives you two options. You each choose silently, poker face on.
- On three, you both say your answer out loud at the same time. Not a second early, not a second late: that's the whole trick.
- Same answer: one point of agreement.
- Different answers: you each defend your pick in one sentence. Your partner may push back, but nobody is forced to switch.
- After twelve cards, you see your total. It isn't a grade. It's a starting point.
Why it works with two
Among friends, would you rather usually stays in the realm of the absurd: a laugh, then the next one. With two people, the dilemma turns into a mirror. When you're torn between a kiss stolen in an elevator and a note slipped into a coat pocket, you're saying something about what you've been missing, what makes your pulse jump, how you like to be surprised.
Answering at the same time changes everything. Nobody can wait for the other's answer and politely fall in line. When you agree, it's real, and when you don't, you've just opened the best conversation of the night.
Our cards skip the dilemmas every listicle has already printed, and the ones that make you choose between two unpleasant things. Both options are meant to tempt you. The only question is which one tempts you more tonight, and why.
Ideas for the night
- After each disagreement, give yourselves thirty seconds to win the other over. If the argument lands, the point goes to you both.
- Keep track of the answers that caught you off guard. They're often ready-made date ideas, just waiting for a day in the calendar.
- Play Tender over drinks, then Playful once the dishes are forgotten. The slider moves whenever you want.
- If one dilemma really gets to you, make the winning option happen this week. Ideally without warning.
- Before you start, each of you predicts your final number of agreements. Whoever comes closest picks the plan for tomorrow night.
Ways to play it differently
Long distance, over video. Keep the page open on one phone and read the card out loud. To answer at the same time, count to three on camera, or type your answers into the chat and hit send together. The explanations come afterwards, and at a distance people tend to take their time with them.
On a road trip. Whoever isn't driving reads both options; the driver answers without taking their eyes off the road. The count of three is out loud. Long drives have never felt so short.
On a weekend away. Slip in a card at every quiet moment: morning coffee, a walk, a bench by the water. A game spread over two days gives the answers time to sink in.
For an anniversary. Play one round on Tender at the restaurant, then another on Playful on the way home. Compare the two totals; the gap says a lot about how the evening went.
If you'd rather play a game where you point at each other, try Most likely to. For a little more nerve in the mix, Truth or dare is waiting.
Going further with Dareling
This free game stops at Playful. Inside the app, Dareling also has Spicy and Scorching cards, kept for the app and always behind a safe word. And if you enjoyed would you rather, Secret Desires is its natural next step: you each swipe through desires on your own phone, in private, and only the ones you share are revealed. Whatever your partner didn't pick stays invisible.
The app starts without an account, in a few seconds. The Dareling magazine has more ideas for your nights in.
Questions people ask
How do you play would you rather over video call?
Start a video call and open the game on one phone. Whoever holds it reads both options, then you count to three and say your answers to the camera at the same moment. For extra suspense, you can each type your answer into the chat and send it on three. Points of agreement are counted exactly the same way as at home.
Is it OK to play with kids around?
On Tender, yes. That level is written to be played at the table, children included: the dilemmas are about memories, small gestures and wants you can say out loud. Playful is for later, once the door is closed. You can switch levels mid-game without starting over, which lets you turn things up a notch at the right moment.
Do we need to sign up or download anything?
No. The game opens straight in your phone's browser, with no account, no email address and nothing to install. Add two first names if you like, and the first card appears. Nothing you say is recorded: it all happens out loud. The Dareling app works the same way and starts without an account too.
What are good would you rather questions for couples?
Good couple dilemmas offer two options that are both tempting, and that reveal something: how you like to be surprised, a memory you'd love to relive, a want you've never put into words. Steer clear of choices between two chores and questions designed to catch someone out. Dareling cards are written that way, from Tender to Playful.
How long does a game last?
A game is twelve cards. How long it takes is mostly up to you: some dilemmas are settled in three seconds, others start a conversation that runs until dessert. Allow the length of a drink if you play fast, a whole evening if you let the disagreements breathe. When it ends, nothing stops you from starting another round.
The game goes on tomorrow.
Dareling is a card a day, a duel at night, and wants that only show when you share them. From tender to red-hot, at your own pace.
Play Dareling, no account